Men are increasingly realising they are able to benefit from therapy in helping them address issues and improve their life. As an older man, Dubby counts this group as a specialism, being able to build a strong therapeutic relationship through his experience and by gaining an understanding your situation and experiences. He does this by helping men recognise culture expectations, beliefs and past experiences that can mean men struggle to address their emotional needs. Increasing numbers of men are now making use of therapists to help find ways of making things better and this is an area of expertise for Headcalm. However, we also know how strange and uncomfortable it can be for a man to make contact and book an appointment, and then to talk about difficult issues. We are very used to finding ways of making you comfortable and helping make this as easy as possible.
Common problems
Men experience the same range of difficulties and problems as women although frequently use things like unhelpful habits, over-work, eating unhealthily, and other risky/self-harming behaviours to deal with unhappiness of one form of another.
Male socialisation
One of the reasons men often find therapy difficult is that men are often taught to deal with things themselves and not to admit ‘weakness’ or emotional upset of any kind. In other words, men are socialised into never asking for help or admitting difficulty, which can be a real problem when things get tough and they need some support to help make things better. Hence many men feel a bit embarrassed, and they book an appointment very often as a very last resort when things are really very bad indeed. Even in such circumstances, it is not uncommon for female partners to make the first appointment – which, of course, is fine so long as the man agrees.
Working with men
Although all men are very different in what they want and need from therapy, one of the common themes is a desire to feel the therapeutic process has a specific goal/focus which is agreed and worked toward in a fairly direct way (of course, some men work better with the exact opposite). Cognitive methods (such as CBT techniques) are often popular because they provide this. However, what must also be tackled is the acknowledgement of the difficult feelings, such as low mood or anxiety, that are causing the problem in the first place. This can be a hard and uncomfortable process, but is one we are very experienced in managing and supporting in an open and honest way.
What to Expect with Therapy
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a widely used and effective approach for treating men’s mental health issues. Here’s how CBT can be beneficial:
1. Identifying and challenging negative thought patterns:
CBT helps men recognize and challenge unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to their mental health issues. This can be particularly helpful in addressing issues related to masculinity, self-worth, and self-criticism.
2. Developing coping skills:
CBT equips men with practical coping skills to manage stress, anxiety, and depression. Techniques such as problem-solving, relaxation training, and assertiveness training can help men effectively navigate challenging situations.
3. Behavioural activation:
CBT encourages men to engage in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, even when they don’t feel like it. This can help counteract feelings of apathy and low motivation often associated with depression.
4. Setting and achieving goals:
CBT helps men set realistic and achievable goals for themselves, whether it’s related to their career, relationships, or personal development. Working towards these goals can instill a sense of purpose and accomplishment, boosting self-esteem and well-being.
5. Improving communication skills:
CBT can help men improve their communication skills, both in expressing their own needs and emotions and in listening and empathizing with others. This can enhance their relationships and support networks, which are crucial for mental health.
Overall, CBT provides men with practical tools and strategies to address their mental health concerns in a structured and goal-oriented manner. Its focus on changing patterns of thinking and behaviour can be particularly effective in helping men overcome obstacles and improve their overall well-being.
Your queries
We appreciate that you may have concerns about therapy. We are always very happy to answer specific questions on any issues linked to the above. Just get in touch and we’ll be happy to help.